Water Your Own Grass

The Scoop 

  • Shitting on someone else’s lawn doesn’t make yours greener…
  • Abundance – There is enough room for everyone, all of their energy, all of their ideas, and all of their entire human self. When you feel threatened by someone else, it has nothing to do with them and everything to do with you. 
  • Where do those feelings of scarcity come from for you? It’s deeper and underlying. 
  • Being open to supporting other people always is a mindset. It’s not about trying to break a habit or form a new one. It’s about feeling excited that others are growing and developing. 
  • How focusing on your own work makes you and the people around you better.



Links & Currently Reading 

The Sun and Her Flowers by Rupi Kaur



**This is a direct transcription of the podcast and is not meant to read perfectly. 

Hello, welcome to another episode of better with Daffnee. I hope everybody is doing well. I hope everybody is ready for Thanksgiving which is this week. I hope you guys are going to stay safe and eat a lot and drink a lot and feel comfortable with whatever your plans are in this extremely strange year that also is kind of shitty. But hoping that you guys can find some positivity and all of it today we are talking about


Abundance and the idea that there is room for everybody and it enough to go around for everybody. So what I mean by that is I’m sure you guys have heard the the term, you know Watering your own grass or you know pissing for lack of a better word pissing on someone else’s grass doesn’t make yours Greener. There’s a lot of variations of it and I find myself actually thinking about the concept pretty regularly.


So I want to talk about it here because I was actually having a really great conversation with my weightlifting coach about it as well. And he was telling me about how you know, somebody else in the area who also wants to start a weightlifting gym was asking him some questions and you know, he was like, of course I will share with you what I know. You know, what why wouldn’t I do that and we kind of started talking about how a lot of people would probably not do that because they would feel threatened or intimidated or you know, that that person might steal their business or steal their ideas or copy their ideas and


Was a really great conversation because I think that that ideology is actually more common than we might think and I’ll say to that I think at some point in my life or maybe in more than one point of my life. I probably also felt that way about it really it could be anything whether it’s business or personal, you know, personal things or social things like, you know, if I give some too much away that I won’t have enough left for me and and so that’s really the idea of


Abundance right like that, there’s enough for everybody and there’s enough for everybody to experience or to have and you know, I think it’s really it’s really a mindset and I think it’s really kind of understanding that whatever it is that you give away. Does it mean you have less of it? Right? Like it’s not it’s not like if you love one person you can’t love somebody else because you don’t have enough love like we a lot of us know that to be true right whether it’s with your children or whether it’s with, you know, maybe having more than one really but, you know best friend or whatever that looks like, right so


I want to kind of talk about that further because you know, I think whether you’re dealing with you know, a professional aspect or a personal aspect, I think that we all benefit by understanding that the more we give away the The Greener our grass actually is right. So obviously our grass is the metaphor for whatever it is that we have whatever it is that we’re working on. It could be money. It could be a business. It could be as simple as your outfit when you’re going out it could be as simple as you know.


Or the dish you bring to the potluck. It could be really anything. Right? So like what it is that you own or that you create your that you spend time on and I think the idea that you know, if somebody, you know asks us for help or advice or if you give a compliment to somebody else, you know, there’s this idea that maybe it lessons or takes away from your own but you know, I think what I want to really cover them really what I want to go into is that it’s actually the quite opposite and the more that we give away that’s positive the better we become right and sometimes


That’s hard to wrap our head around because you could have you could think and especially in the case of this conversation that I was having with my weightlifting coach, right? He has a weight lifting business. It’s a gym and it’s great. And you know, I think the idea that somebody else might want to start one, you know one would maybe automatically think like, oh, that’s not a good idea. Like you shouldn’t tell him what, you know shouldn’t share with him, you know some ideas or some tips or whatever because what if he takes your business, you know, and I think that whole concept is just really skewed and really actually comes from a place of insecurity which is probably a whole other podcast in itself, but realistically I mean being confident in what you’re creating and what you’re doing there shouldn’t be any room for worrying about that. Right? And the idea that what you put out there really does come back to you. I’m a firm believer in that and I think that everything that we do and everything that we are is really Just Energy. So if I put out really good energy than you know that has to come back in some way shape or form and and not to be confused with I only do good things to get it back but I just feel like it’s a way of living


It’s kind of a mindset. It’s it’s you know, thinking about those things before anything else. Right? So I think there’s another piece of this to which is you know at some point and I will own this 100% especially when I was like in high school and college and just feel younger and you know more immature more naive. I felt like I was very defensive about a lot of stuff because I was insecure about things. You know, I wasn’t I wasn’t busy working on my own grass, right? Like if I didn’t if you’re not occupied with


With your own grass watering it trimming it whatever it is that looks like getting rid of weeds. Then you just have so much more time and bandwidth to I think find and see the enemy and so that’s again probably its own issue. Right? Like, how are you feeling your day? How are you feeling your time? How are you looking at the world? How are you contributing to the world? You know, if you’re not busy then there is more time for you to do that. But if you’re busy and you’re working on your own Empire in your own world and your own, you know betterment then you don’t have as much time to


And those flaws and other people are to find problems right whether they’re people are not and I think that’s really powerful. Right? So, I think there’s this idea that not only is our grass greener if we work on it and help other people, but just that like if we are literally working on our own stuff that it’s just making us better people over it’s making us more confident. It’s you know, it’s contributing to you know, whatever it is that you want to create for yourself in this life. So I found something, you know something that I read recently that I thought was really


Empowering was just that you know, I chose to not see enemy so they didn’t exist anymore. Right? Like I chose to not see problems. And so the problems didn’t exist anymore. And obviously that’s not to say that there are bad people in the world or people who have bad intentions or that problems don’t happen. I have just as many problems as everybody else. I’m sure but I think it’s just that I don’t view everything as a problem. I just view it as something that I have to deal with and that I’m strong enough and confident enough to deal with whatever comes my way. And so I think changing and shifting arm.


Said around problems or enemies or whatever it is you want to call it is really really powerful and it allows you to even further tend to your grass. Right and I think this all comes back to the idea that if you’re really taking care of your own stuff. It’s never any skin off your back to also care for other people and that really for me is kind of the essence of like where I want to be in my life is that I’m so confident and so happy with what I’m creating. And I know that I do things considering other people and their feelings and their outcomes that I just know that this is all going to work out.

Okay, you know and again I’m not trying to sound unrealistic obviously things happen bad things happen. Scary things happen stressful things happen, but I also am a big fan of wishful thinking, you know, I believe that if I think positive and that if I if I go into every single day knowing that whatever comes my way I can handle then that’s actually what’s going to happen. I will be able to handle it, you know, and it’s just a really refreshing I think way to think about things and and also no one I mean stress suck.


Right on it feels yucky and no one wants to deal with that. So so I also just choose to do that because I want to feel stressed out. You know, I think something else that I think about in this again is totally relevant. I think to the professional world as well as the personal world is that there is room for everybody, you know, and I remember hearing that a long long time ago and I don’t know necessarily that I understood what that meant back then but I do now and sometimes I even still struggle with this like, you know, I have a marketing business right and I do online marketing.


Ting and there’s a lot of other companies that do what you know similar things that we do and sometimes I think about it like can I keep crawling is this, you know kind of you know almost like I’m kind of like self-limiting belief might believing it, you know, not believing. I guess you’d say in myself or my business. And is there an are there enough clients? Is there enough room for me? Can we keep growing can we get to her 1 and B which is obviously not a really positive way to think but you know, I think the thing I come back to is like there is room for everybody and everything and it’s because I am putting in the work.


Single day to be better right to people to my clients to my team to my daughter to my husband. I’m all to myself. You know, I’m always working on being a little bit better and that’s what makes me different from other people. Is that like no one else is exactly no one else is going to put in the exact same kind of work. And and so I think that’s really powerful, you know, because of that and I am literally Paving my own way and I think every single one of us there is enough room for every single one of us to pay their own way and that’s really really empowering.


So anytime I worry or I think about these things, you know, like is there enough room for me or will I be accepted or will I be liked? You know, and I just think that that’s coming back to that and remembering that there’s just an abundance of everything if I want there to be is really really comforting and it applies to everything there’s enough money for me. There’s enough love for me. There’s enough clients for me. There’s enough room for me to grow there’s enough room for me to rest. There’s enough room for me to be a good way for you know treat myself.


Something or be a good friend like there’s always going to be enough room because I’m I’m going into every situation and every day thinking that and believing that and you know, something else that I just want to come back to is just that idea that the more that I help people I literally feel like my grass grows more right? So there’s this idea that like again helping someone else or giving to somebody else, you know takes away from what I’m working for but it is the literal opposite and you know something that I’m super super passionate about and if any of you


Follow me on social media, you know this because I’m constantly asking you for money his fundraising. I love love love Terre Des love giving to other people. I love helping other people who don’t have a lot and you know, I feel like part of me almost as like, oh do I do too much like am I asking for too much, you know, I’m getting a lot of my money away. I you know, and I worry a little bit and then I realized like at the end of the day every single effort I’ve put forward it ends up successful because I go into it knowing that there’s enough right there’s enough to make this work. There’s enough for everybody and


And it’s really it’s really comforting. It’s really empowering because I just know that you know money comes and goes time comes and goes favors come and go everything comes and goes. It’s just the way that the world works and you know, if people can’t help you and support you they won’t you know, and hopefully it’s just because they physically don’t have the bandwidth at the moment not because they’re feeling threatened by you but that’s okay. That’s their own that’s their own up and down right like and everybody has that and that’s normal and that’s healthy and if someone for example doesn’t contribute to my Christmas fundraiser it they are not bad people.


people they are everyone’s going through their own thing and I’m not going to feel kind of like, you know, this can’t work or or like there isn’t enough to go around because of you know, maybe I didn’t meet my goal right away or because you know, somebody couldn’t contribute but what I find is that like up throughout all of those emotions like it at the end it always does work out, you know, and I don’t ever feel like I’ve missed I’ve lost out because I’ve given my time to somebody or my money to somebody or help somebody and I’ve even I mean I’ve even experienced, you know doing an offering for


Who are interested in doing the kind of work that I do right or even people who are interested in for example, becoming a Zumba instructor, you know, I don’t mind sharing my routines and my playlist and you know, it doesn’t matter. It’s fine giving to them doesn’t take away from me because I put in my own work there, right? So I’ve spent a lot of years, you know being a Zumba instructor. I have a incredible class that comes and always comes out and supports me and has fun and really enjoys coming and helping someone else be a good Zumba instructor doesn’t mean that someone now dad likes me less. Like that’s just not that she’s not how it works and


I think that applies to everything and so I think if from a personal level, you know, I also find like, you know paying compliments to your friends and family and asking about what they have going on and asking how you can support them like that just makes everybody feel better. It makes people feel loved and supported and I don’t have less in me to give because I’ve offered it to one person or 10 people and I do think that the more that you practice that you know, the more you put that out into the universe the more it grows within you right so


It’s really the idea that abundance comes from abundance and that once you acknowledge that there is enough for everybody yourself included your enemies your friends at you know, it changes. I think the way that you think about how you’re sharing yourself and how you’re giving what you can get and what you have to offer to people around you and so I was reading a book and this is really kind of where this all came from because as you guys know I just this is where my ideas come from is just like books and thinking and talking to people but you know, I think if we just can come back to the fact that the best thing you can do is work on being a good person for yourself and everything else will follow being a good person to the people around you being a good person to strangers that you might not ever meet and you can help through some sort of, you know, charity or donation. I mean anything whatever it is it to your best friend’s to your acquaintances if you choose to focus on yourself and really think about how you can be a better person for yourself and focus on Watering your own grass.


You will absolutely continue to not only thrive in that way, but you’ll also be contributing to making the people around you better and I think it’s a trickle effect. And from there. It’s like you choose to see problems not as problems. But just as things you have to work through or you see less problem, right or you see fewer enemies or you see people who maybe aren’t enemies but are just dealing with their own shit and haven’t done this work yet, right. So I am working on this also, but just kind of choosing to acknowledge that


People who might be not very nice not very positive not very happy not very supportive are 1 million percent projecting, you know, and that’s you know, that’s sad that’s not crazy. I mean everyone has work to do we all I mean I’ve said this before but I think everybody in the world should be in therapy because I just believe in it so much but regardless of where you are in your life, like I think we all can work on how we’re paying it forward to other people and to ourselves and I think that’s really what this all comes back to is like there’s just plenty


Room for it, you know and I think abundance might be one of my favorite word’s ever because it is just comforting to think about that. There is just always enough of the good to go around and the more good we pass around the less bad there is you know being passed around so I think really the takeaway is focus on yourself focus on being a better person focus on being positive and as a result, you will be better for other people into other people, you know and giving away whatever it is that you have to offer whether it’s your time whether it’s your advice whether it’s you’re just listening whether it’s your love whether it’s your money whether whatever that might be the more that you give away the more you actually have back in your own pockets, and I think that that’s really powerful and it just has the opportunity to kind of change how


The approach each other both people. We know we don’t know and it has obviously the opportunity to make us all better people, which I think is really important. So as a ending now, I am currently collecting dollars for a toy drive for an elementary school here in Orlando, and it’s really the money is all going to go straight to gifts. You know that these kids have put wish list together for it’s going to go straight to them. So if you want to donate feel free to find me on Instagram at Daphne and shoot me.


Message and I would be super grateful for your contribution as with all these lovely children and until next time. I will talk to you guys soon.


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